Over My Head

Lying on my bed
Staring into space
The lines under my eyes
Are scars into my face
They're not going away
They're not going away
Maybe the ceiling fan feels a bit like me
Spinning and stopping endlessly
Except it doesn't have a heart...
Or a mind.
They're always fatal
Always blind
I never make it
Always try
These are the things that will spin in my mind
These are the people that eat my insides
Every night before I turn out the light
I walk my room to close the blinds
I grab both strings and hold them tight
So I can pull one at a time and see which one's right
But knowing him isn't like that that much
Instead of holding both strings I only get one
And the moment I pull it I spend all my trust
Because I don't know if it'll work out for us
I'm so worn out
I don't think I can do this
There's no catching breath
Bit too hard to get through it
Let me down, let me down
I wanted to rely on you guys
Yell at each other in front of me
Make me have to close my eyes
I don't have words to explain how dark this place is
But no matter how dark, I never sleep
Here is my checkmate number three
I love him more than he loves me