The Losing Side

It's a little too cold
To be wearing a bro tank
Maybe I just didn't
Want to be myself today
But I think that this might
Be a bit too much like me
Dressed in the clothes of
An emotional scream
Is it a sin to take it out
On my lonely guitar?
I'll never stop forgiving you
Everything is hard
And everything burns my fingers
Because I haven't played in a month
And inside one I found a splinter
But I kept pressing chords with it because
I needed a way to drown everything out
I needed a way to sing and shout
I needed a way, and I needed it now
I needed an escape, through some lyrics somehow
So the splinter went deeper into my finger
Like how you went deeper into my soul
When I can't find the difference between death and living
It reminds me that I'm not the one in control
Don't leave without me,
Don't forget about me
I've been trying too hard to just let all this go
Even though I partake,
I'm set up for heartbreak
Don't know where I'll be if you leave me alone
I wake up in the night
And can't breathe through my nose
It's just allergies
But anything goes
If you make life symbolic
And boy, I try not to
Then I'm pushed to a point
When I've simply got to
But I fought you
Oh, how I fought you for years
Thought ignorant smiles
Would save me from tears
Blamed myself
Blamed this girl, and no one else
Because when she is me, she isn't free
From everything I felt.
Again.
I'm going back to the past again.
Killing myself for not letting it go
When I should really be my friend
And in the end
I know it's all for good
But I should've talked to someone,
And I guess I never could
I feel it all and don't know why
When my dad prayed for you, I started to cry
I'm going nowhere with these rhymes
I'm just trying not to die
I won't take all this on my back
I've been down this road half a million times
Will you show no sympathy
For the girl on the losing side?